That was the thing: Once, the difference between light and dark had been basic. One was good, one bad. Suddenly, though, things werenโt so clear. The dark was still a mystery, something hidden, something to be scared of, but Iโd come to fear the light, too. It was where everything was revealed, or seemed to be. Eyes closed, I saw only the blackness, reminding me of this one thing, the most deep of my secrets; eyes open, there was only the world that didnโt know it, bright, inescapable, and somehow, still there.
Sarah DessenI'd come here planning to leave as soon as I could. It was a pit stop, not a destination. I had my whole life mapped out." "So what happened?" "I guess that map didn't turn out to be mine after all.
Sarah DessenI am the middle sister. The one in between. Not oldest, not youngest, not boldest, not nicest. I am the shade of gray, the glass half empty or full, depending on your view. In my life, there has been little that I have done first or better than the one preceding or following me. Of all of us, though, I am the only one who has been broken.
Sarah DessenReally? Screaming?โ He shrugged. โIt wasnโt that bad. But there were definitely some freak-outs on both sides. Though, to be honest, the silence was worse.โ โWorse than screaming?โ I said. โMuch,โ he said, nodding. โI mean, at least with an argument, you know whatโs happening. Or have some idea. Silence isโฆ it could be anything. Itโs just โโ โSo freaking loud,โ I finished for him. He pointed at me. โExactly.
Sarah DessenThe first thing I did when I got inside was turn on the kitchen light. Then I moved to the table, putting my dad's iPod on the speaker dock, and a Bob Dylan song came on, the notes familiar. I went into the living room, hitting the switch there, then down the hallway to my room, where I did the same. It was amazing what a little noise and brightness could do to a house and a life, how much the smallest bit of each could change everything. After all these years of just passing through, I was beginning to finally feel at home.
Sarah Dessen