Before I became governor of the great state of Alaska, I was mayor of my hometown. And since our opponents in this presidential election seem to look down on that experience, let me explain to them what the job involves. I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a 'community organizer,' except that you have actual responsibilities.

Mr. President, when it rains it pours, but most Americans hold their own umbrellas

Barack Obama can give an entire speech about the wars America is fighting, and never use the word "victory" except when he's talking about his own campaign.

There were times (during my early campaigns) when I thought, "You know what I could really use? A wife."

People know something has gone terribly wrong with our government and it has gotten so far off track. But people also know that there is nothing wrong in America that a good old-fashioned election can't fix.

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick.

Shoot, I must have lived such a doggoned sheltered life as a normal, independent American up there in the Last Frontier, schooled with only public education and a lowly state university degree, because obviously I haven't learned enough to dismiss common sense.