The people don't elect U.S. presidents, God does.

Polls? Nah... they're for strippers and cross country skiers.

All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years.

If the election had turned out differently, I could be the one overseeing the signing of bailout checks and Vice President Biden could be on the road selling his book 'Going Rogaine.'

Mr. President, the only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke.

I say to the Occupy protesters - you're occupying the wrong place, you're protesting the wrong thing.

The news makes me sad, so I don't watch it.