You know you've reached a new plateau of group mediocrity when even a Canadian is alarmed by your lack of individuality.

I probably am a cranky writer, but I am actually a fairly nice, normal person. Since I'm a grouchy writer, of course I have friends whose books are doing way better than mine.

My lips are chapped from the winds of change.

Jesus and Lincoln, Moses and Jefferson can seem so long gone, so unbelievable, so dead.

Presidents and presidential assassins are like Las Vegas and Salt Lake City. Even though one city is all about sin and the other is all about salvation, they are identical, one-dimensional company towns built up by the sheer will of true believers.

There are two kinds of people in the world: the kind who alphabetize their record collections, and the kind who don't.

Listening to the radio every day for an entire year was a prison sentence. It was the most depressing, annoying, debilitating project I have ever undertaken, and I have a master's degree in art history.