In these fast and fickle times, it’s nice to know that there are some things you can always count on: the enduring brilliance of the last page of The Great Gatsby; the near-religious harmonies of the Beach Boys’ “California Girls”; and the lifelong friendship of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.

One night last summer, all the killers in my head assembled on a stage in Massachusetts to sing show tunes.

American history is a quagmire, and the more one knows, the quaggier the mire gets.

Why is America the last best hope of Earth? What if it's Liechtenstein? Or, worse, Canada?

The modern mocha is a bittersweet concoction of imperialism, genocide, invention, and consumerism served with whipped cream on top

That's what we Americans do when we find a place that's really special. We go there and act exactly like ourselves. And we are a bunch of fun-loving dopes.

Behind every bad law, a deep fear.