I probably am a cranky writer, but I am actually a fairly nice, normal person. Since I'm a grouchy writer, of course I have friends whose books are doing way better than mine.

You know you've reached a new plateau of group mediocrity when even a Canadian is alarmed by your lack of individuality.

You know, it's always good to have a synonym just for variety.

Why is America the last best hope of Earth? What if it's Liechtenstein? Or, worse, Canada?

There are two kinds of people in the world: the kind who alphabetize their record collections, and the kind who don't.

I no longer drink nearly as much as I used to but, still, my motto is Sine coffea nihil sum. Without coffee, I'm nothing.

Assassins and presidents invite the same basic question: Just who do you think you are?