If I'm lucky, in a month from now, best-case scenario, I'm managing a Cinnabon in Omaha.

Ridicule is man’s most potent weapon.

Some people are immune to good advice.

Let's just say I know a guy who knows a guy who knows another guy.

Conscience gets expensive, doesn't it?

I caught my second wife screwing my stepdad. OK? It's a cruel world, Walt. Grow up.

If I'm lucky, in a month from now, best-case scenario, I'm managing a Cinnabon in Omaha.