Journalism in America is dead. I've been saying it on the air since 2008.

I am a total loser, in every aspect of my life. I rarely go out. I have a great family and we spend all our time together. I work hard and play hard with them.

Halloween is a liberal holiday because we're teaching our children to beg for something for free. … We're teaching kids to knock on other people's doors and ask for a handout.

When you say "Ghetto Fights," that sounds extremely racist.

We have a situation where we have a lawmaker here in California who says that if you spank the child, you spank them, you're going to go to jail for a year or you're going to pay a $1,000 fine.

See what I have to put up with every night?

It's the same as saying, you know, "I'll smoke, but that's up to me." Doctors don't recommend it. I don't recommend smoking. It's a bad idea. Smoking or spanking. Bad ideas.