Nothing seems too high or low for the humorist; he is above honor, above faith, preserving sense in religion and sanity in life.

There's no reason to bring religion into it. I think we ought to have as great a regard for religion as we can, so as to keep it out of as many things as possible.

Politics has slain its thousands, but religion has slain its tens of thousands.

When it was dark, you always carried the sun in your hand for me.

The secret to happiness is to find a congenial monotony.

What time has been wasted during man's destiny in the struggle to decide what man's next world will be like! The keener the effort to find out, the less he knew about the present one he lived in.

Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, great as each may be, their highest comfort given to the sorrowful is a cordial introduction into another's woe. Sorrow's the great community in which all men born of woman are members at one time or another.