Nothing seems too high or low for the humorist; he is above honor, above faith, preserving sense in religion and sanity in life.

The secret to happiness is to find a congenial monotony.

To me life is simply an invitation to live.

We couldn't live without comedy.

There's nothing so passionate as a vested interest disguised as an intellectual conviction.

The military mind is indeed a menace. Old-fashioned futurity that sees only men fighting and dying in smoke and fire; hears nothing more civilized than a cannonade; scents nothing but the stink of battle-wounds and blood.

Disease an never be conquered, can never be quelled by emotion's willful screaming or faith's symbolic prayer. It can only be conquered by the energy of humanity and the cunning in the mind of man. In the patience of a Curie, in the enlightenment of a Faraday, a Rutherford, a Pasteur, a Nightingale, and all other apostles of light and cleanliness, rather than of a woebegone godliness, we shall find final deliverance from plague, pestilence, and famine.