It matters in a fatherly way.
Every team that plays us plays above their heads. That's because of me.
I respect the older guys.
There is no answer to the Pythagorean theorem. Well, there is an answer, but by the time you figure it out, I got 40 points, 10 rebounds and then we're planning for the parade.
The stats win nothing. I'm still sexy. I'm still great.
Once the Hack-a-Shaq works once, you know I'm going to see it again. The only thing worse for basketball than that defense is the Lack-a-Shaq offense, where I have to go to the bench because of foul trouble. There is no fun in that.