I want to go to police academy, I want to actually go out and make a couple of arrests. I want to go undercover.

I don't take anything personal. I just have a certain file in my head, so Earthlings must be careful with what they say.

Get your tickets now. Buy cable now. Get your jerseys now. Pull your boats up to the docking stations now. Bring your Sea-Doos now. If you can't afford a Sea-Doo, get a raft.

Why don't you bring your face up here and let me punch it? Then you can tell me (if I'm stronger).

I'm the NBA's best NFL player, and I've always been the sexiest 7-footer in the NBA - for 12 years running.

That's sort of a trick question, and I don't have a trick answer. Next question, please.

In this millennium that we live in, the 'Hack-a-Shaq'has proven not to work. It might work a couple games every now and then, but when it comes to the playoffs or a championship series, it doesn't work - not at all.