A really good stand-up comic is a poet; it's about the use of language. It can be really poetic. And I like politically conscious comedy.

All I owe the world is my art.

[F]rank knew he was guilty of arrogance and misanthropy, but he compensated by being kind to strangers and tipping really well at restaurants.

I love to scare the already terrified assholes.

In a sense, you're always mythologizing your life; it's always an effort to make yourself epic. At least in fiction you can lie and sort of justify your delusion about your "epicness." But when you're writing a memoir, you're trying to make your life epic and it's not - nobody's life is.

They put me in a holding cell with a black kid and a white kid and a Chinese kid. We're the United Nations of juvenile delinquents.

I think the world is a series of broken dams and floods, and my cartoons are tiny little lifeboats.