After that, anytime she caught me near a kitchen she’d start in on me. So I have an automatic sphincter clench any time I reach for a pan. (Devyn)

It’s a responsibility that I take most seriously, so excuse me for banning you from killing them because you have reverse PMS. (Acheron) Reverse PMS? (Artemis) Yeah, unlike a normal woman, you’re cranky twenty-eight days out of the month. (Acheron)

St. Ash – who knew? (Gallagher)

I still wanna know who to sue to get my store fixed. (Bubba) I’m a turnip. Sue the rich kid who started it. (Nick)

You know, for the record, I hate to take orders. But! I realize I'm in over my head. You have no idea how much I hate all this supernatural garbage. So I'm willing to listen to you, but you better start acting like I'm a person and not some mindless blow-up doll. (Amanda)

I take time with each person and try to remember them, especially if they're a repeater from another event. I know a lot of authors just sign a book and keep their heads down, but I'm not like that.

(She grabbed him for a bear hug.) Stop sexually harassing me, Mom. (Nick)