Then why don’t you and Bubba have girlfriends? (Nick) I don’t want the drama of it. After the last one burnt up all my clothes with my Jack Daniel’s Black Label collection and tried to decapitate me with my CDs, I decided I’d take a hiatus for a bit. (Mark)

Do Mom and Dad know you’re dating a homicidal lunatic? (Madaug) No, and if you tell them, I’ll superglue your fingertips to your keyboard. (Eric)

I have much to teach you. Come and learn the art of war from the one who invented it. (Takeshi)

I give you points for persistence, but you lose a few for being slow on the uptake. (Rae)

What are you? (Nick) Completely perplexed. You remember everything that happened. (Acheron) Yeah. Duh. Not like you’re going to forget the killer zombie stalkers and psyched-out kitchen staff. What kind of freak show is this? (Nick)

What if he wakes up before you get home and steals you blind? (Wayne) Steals what? My clothes won’t fit him and I have nothing of any value. Not unless he likes my Peter, Paul, and Mary collection anyway. (Sunshine)

Never underestimate a backwoods Cajun in a fight, old man.