They’re plotting against you. (Jaden) Who? (Jericho) Your best friends, fool, who do you think? The Easter Bunny or the assholes who brought you here? FYI, they’re planning to feed you to the gallu so that they can control your powers without your fighting them. If I were you, I’d be gone five minutes ago. (Jaden)

Look, I admit you seem like a decent person. For all I know you stop and move turtles out of the road whenever you see one to keep someone from running it over. But this turtle is tired of having its guts spattered on the pavement while other people drive right over him. I just want to scrape myself up and hide in the woods, okay? (Aiden)

I don’t have to do nothing you say, you old heifer cow. And you are old. Really, really old. And a cow, too. (Simi)

Yes, I'm a small, emaciated teenage girl who struts around fighting vampires in earrings they would rip out of my ears and shove up my —

I beg your pardon. I’m not gross. (Simone) Grody to the max. Gag me with a spoon. I’ve seen you in the mornings. You’re not exactly well coiffed. (Jesse)

Nick, fetch my car, fetch my clothes, sweep the chimney, make my bed, watch my psychopath, fetch my slippers.

Are all knights so gentle? (Taryn) I know not, Taryn, since I don’t make it my habit to lie abed with other knights. (Sparhawk)