There was an advert I rather liked. Devastated woman: "I've just seen the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse!" Husband: "Never mind, love, it's not the end of the world."
Simon BarnesThe traditional dress of the Australian cricketer is the baggy green cap on the head and the chip on the shoulder. Both are ritualistically assumed
Simon BarnesPenalties are not football. They are not even as television people keep telling us, great drama. They are cheap melodrama.
Simon BarnesEverybody loves birdsong. It's a human need... the sound of birds gives a deep, if sometimes almost unnoticed, pleasure
Simon Barnes