I was bought an electric guitar when I was 12, but my guitar teacher beat me up. I didn't like guitar lessons... My teacher was obviously bored giving me lessons, and one day I offered him a liquorice toffee, but he didn't answer. So I threw it at him, it hit him in the face, and he sort of beat me up.

I met someone the other night who's 28 years old, and he hasn't worked a day since he left college because he's pursuing a dream he'll never, ever realize: He thinks he's a great singer. Actually, he's crap.

It was like orderin a hamburger and getting only the buns

You don't hate the mosquito; you just want it out of your face.

One thing I've learnt is you should never fight it. They're natural emotions and when you try and bottle everything up, that's what can make you depressed. Luckily I have fantastic memories [about my parents] and they really help.

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food.

I didn't realise how important stupid people are in your life, because you ask yourself, what made stupid people so stupid? What made them the way they are?