Seeing John Major govern the country is like watching Edward Scissorhands try to make balloon animals.

Why should we subsidize intellectual curiosity?

While it is entirely untrue that Canadians lack a sense of humour, the funniest ones tend to head south: Dan Aykroyd, Jim Carrey, Michael J. Fox.

Kind 'Guardian' readers have been forwarding me round robin Christmas newsletters for years now: lengthy missives full of perfect children, exotic holidays, talented pets and endless, tedious detail. The notes that accompanied them revealed they had inspired in the original recipients everything from mild irritation to absolute rage.

If you read the 'Daily Mail,' you would imagine that the British middle classes lead lives of unremitting misery.

The Chinese do make vast quantities of wine for home consumption, but you wouldn't want to drink it yourself.

Switzerland still has a huge share of the watch market, all advertised at the airport on illuminated hoardings. Gosh, they are ugly.