Seeing John Major govern the country is like watching Edward Scissorhands try to make balloon animals.

Until now their line has been that the Tories are incapable of doing anything about poverty, and aren't interested in doing it in the first place. By contrast, Labour says, we are also incapable of doing anything about poverty, but would dearly love to do something. If we knew what.

I've been intrigued by 'Le Monde' ever since work took me to Paris once, and I noted that on a day when there was some huge worldwide story, the paper led its front page on some cabinet changes in Turkey. It implied a magnificent disdain for the quotidian folderol of mere news.

Remember how Margaret Thatcher came to believe that abroad was more important than at home? Didn't do her much good.

Even I would find a book about my life pretty dull.

Most successful American politicians look well-fed on endorsements, campaign contributions and chicken dinners.

Some government expenditure actually makes a profit. Our theatre leads the world. Loads of tourists must be attracted by the fact that you could spend a week in London doing nothing but visit superb museums and galleries, free.