I don't want to end up like my mom. That's my biggest fear in life.

You can't appreciate a great day unless you've experienced bad ones." - Rabbi Glassman

Alex probably brings his dates sharp knives as gifts, in case she'll need one when she's out on a date with him.

Guys are control freaks and hate when other people know what's best for them

Just the fact that you need me to prove I love you is probably a clue it isn’t working

When I look out [the window] at the big houses on either side of the road, it's obvious we've entered the rich side of town. Poor people don't post signs like NO TRESPASSING, PRIVATE DRIVE, PRIVATE PROPERTY, MONITORED BY CAMERA SURVEILLANCE. I should know because I've been poor my entire life, and the only person I know who ever posted a sign like these is my friend...and he actually stole the sign off a rich guy's yard.

She ignores me, so I cup my hands over my mouth and do something I haven’t done in years— barnyard sounds.