The trouble with this country is that there are too many people going about saying, "The trouble with this country is...."

Our American professors like their literature clear and cold and pure and very dead.

In fact, the whole thing about prohibition is this: it isn't the initial cost, it's the humidity.

It is one of the major tragedies that nothing is more discomforting than the hearty affection of the Old Friends who never were friends.

Pugnacity is a form of courage, but a very bad form.

When audiences come to see us authors lecture, it is largely in the hope that we'll be funnier to look at than to read.

Upon this theology he rarely pondered. The kernel of his practical religion was that it was respectable, and beneficial to one's business, to be seen going to services; that the church kept the Worst Elements from being still worse; and that the pastor's sermons, however dull they might seem at the time of taking, yet had a voodooistic power which 'did a fellow good-- kept him in touch with Higher Things.