I feel like I always had a yin and yang experience with music. I've always been able to rock out, and then I've always had to take piano lessons, too.
I don't really understand why when I'm not making music, I feel like I can't breathe.
My instrument is the studio. When I play my instrument, I'm creating music using the studio. All the other instruments serve it.
Going onstage without my primary instrument is like being a guitarist and going up onstage with no guitar waiting for you. What do you do? That's why performance is painful for me, because I feel like I am always in a strange place with a bit of a handicap.