Maybe my identity's been stolen. Or maybe I was sleep-shopping!

Why didn't I buy a new phone earlier? Why don't I always walk around with a spare phone? It should be the law, like having a spare tire.

You never know how things are going to turn out, however much you plan. But you already know that.

I’m blushing at my own stupid, nonsensical, meaningless thought process, which, by the way, nobody knows about except me.

"This is me, remember!" retorts Suze. "I know what you're like! You used to throw all your bank statements into the trash and hope a complete stranger would pay off your bills!" This is what happens. You tell your friends your most personal secrets, and they use them against you.

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Everyone knows revenge is a dish best served when you've had enough time to build up enough vitriol and fury.