The President needs me at the White House. It's autumn, you know, and the leaves need raking.

It takes quite a bit of nerve for Democrats to complain about inflation. This reminds me of germs complaining about the disease.

Asking Senator Fulbright's advice on foreign policy is like asking the Boston Strangler to massage your neck.

Some newspapers dispose of their garbage by printing it.

I apologize for lying to you. I promise I won't deceive you except in matters of this sort.

All the Chicago demonstrators wanted to do was to sleep in the park and kick policemen with razor blades in their shoes.

An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park a bike.