Parents are led to believe that they must be consistent, that is, always respond to the same issue the same way. Consistency is good up to a point but your child also needs to understand context and subtlety . . . much of adult life is governed by context: what is appropriate in one setting is not appropriate in another; the way something is said may be more important than what is said. . . .
Stanley GreenspanEven if you find yourself in a heated exchange with your toddler, it is better for your child to feel the heat rather than for himto feel you withdraw emotionally.... Active and emotional involvement between parent and child helps the child make the limits a part of himself.
Stanley GreenspanLearning first occurs as a part of emotional interactions; it involves the split-second initiatives that children take as they try to engage other people,interact with them communicate and reason with them.
Stanley GreenspanGood discipline is more than just punishing or laying down the law. It is liking children and letting them see that they are liked. It is caring enough about them to provide good, clear rules for their protection.
Stanley GreenspanIf our society were truly to appreciate the significance of children's emotional ties throughout the first years of life, it would no longer tolerate children growing up or parents having to struggle in situations which could not possibly nourish healthy growth.
Stanley GreenspanAlthough pretend play is important, it is still the means to an end, not the end itself. Do not make the mistake of thinking a contrived, pretend drama can substitute for real interpersonal comfort in dealing with important emotional issues.
Stanley GreenspanWe need to take a less narrow look at our childrenโs problems and, instead, see them as windows of opportunityโa way of exploring and understanding all facets of our childrenโs development. If we can understand the underlying developmental process, we can see a childโs struggles as signs of striving toward growth instead of chronic problems or attempts to aggravate adults.
Stanley Greenspan