It's too bad you're not gay. Then again, if you were gay, I would never date you. You're a mess." You know, Patrick? If I were gay, I'd want to date you." Of course.

I think on my next birthday, I'm going to buy her a present. I think that should be the tradition. The kid gets gifts from everybody, and he buys one present for his mom since she was there, too. I think that would be nice.

Girls like guys to be a challenge. It gives them some mold to fit in how they act. Like a mom. What would a mom do if she couldn't fuss over you and make you clean your room? And what would you do without her fussing and making you do it? Everyone needs a mom. And a mom knowns this. And it gives her a sense of purpose. You get it?

I really think that everyone should have watercolors, magnetic poetry, and a harmonica.

I was in my bed trying to figure out why sometimes you can wake up and go back to sleep and other times you can't

The most beautiful surprise is that you have these moments where you connect with people on a deep level without saying a word. It's one of those wonderful things that you get what you give, and I'm grateful for it.

Not everyone has a sob story, Charlie, and even if they do, it's no excuse.