The service took place on one of those afternoons that occur only in the past.

It is the useless things that make life worth living and that make life dangerous too: wine, love, art, beauty. Without them life is safe, but not worth bothering with.

We humans are naturally disposed to worship gods and heroes, to build our pantheons and valhallas. I would rather see that impulse directed into the adoration of daft singers, thicko footballers and air-headed screen actors than into the veneration of dogmatic zealots, fanatical preachers, militant politicians and rabid cultural commentators.

Education is the sum of what students teach each other between lectures and seminars.

I get an urge, like a pregnant elephant, to go away and give birth to a book.

I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and you will be happy.