I was just thinking – today is the first and last day of forever. It’s kind of hard to wrap my head around it. Even with all this extra room for wrapping.

I thought I'd explained it clearly before. Bella, I can't live in a world where you don't exist.

That was the first night I dreamed of Eward Cullen.

The morning brought with it, if not a brighter outlook, at least a measure of control, some acceptance. Instinctively, I knew that the new tear in my heart would always ache. That was just going to be a part of me now.

I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore

No, I had never intentionally caused anyone physical pain, but I had hurt Ian deeply enough just by hurting myself. Human lives were so impossibly tangled. What a mess.

I wanted the monster back and that was plainly wrong.