Repeat one word of what I just said and I'll cheerfully beat you to death, Mike.

Just you wait till I’m a vampire! I’m not going to be sitting on the sidelines next time.

I have an immature, Homer Simpson-like tendency to giggle when I say the words 'seminal fluids' in public.

With The Host, I think the actors could be really big names. That would be cool. Id love to see Robert Redford put on a beard and be Jeb; he would be amazing... Matt Damon has some very Jared-esque qualities, and then Casey Affleck as Ian and Ben Affleck as Kyle. Imagine the interplay.

You think of me as a... living stone - hard and cold. That's true. We are set the way we are, and it is very rare for us to experience a real change. When that happens, as when Bella entered my life, it is a permanent change. There's no going back.

Don’t be offended, but you seem to be one of those people who just attract accidents like a magnet. So… try not to fall into the ocean or get run over or anything, all right?

Edward: It wasn't the worst night of my life. Jake: Did it make the top ten? Edward: Possibly. But, if I had been able to take your place last night, it would not have made the top ten of the best nights of my life. Dream about that.