I have never wanted to be famous, as such - fame is a by-product.

What I don't like is dance music or hip hop or any of that sort of thing.

Guide dogs for the blind. It's cruel really, isn't it? Getting a dog to lead a man round all day. Not fair on either of them.

As soon as I see period costume, I turn off. It's like hearing drama on Radio 4.

If you're driving your car and someone winds the window down and gives you the finger and calls you an asshole, instead of giving him the finger back and calling him an asshole back, you just pull a funny face, and he doesn't know how to react to that, because you're using different rules.

I used to do stuff at college. I could do voices. I could make some people laugh. I wasn't the class clown, but I knew I had this skill.

I'm 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me: Back of the net!