I tell people I'm a stand-up comedian two hours a week. The rest of the time, I'm somebody's husband, I'm somebody's father. I'm a man. I take great pride in that.

I'm not a good mother at all.

Your career is what you're paid for. Your calling is what you're made for.

Ask any guy if sex is important in a relationship and the one who says no is lying. I just haven't met that guy yet. When you meet him, let's get him in to the Smithsonian - he's that special and rare.

I don't have much of an attention span for TV - I nod off during the basketball playoffs - but when I watch 'Game of Thrones' on On Demand, I'm glued to the set. It's mystical and addictive. Tyrion Lannister, that's my man.

You're an investigator - can't nobody find stuff out like a woman. Y'all put the police to shame, make the little investigative tricks they show on CSI and Law & Order: SVU look like counting lessons on Sesame Street.

If you don't believe in God, then where is your moral barometer?