My father told me never to take my foot off a ladder to kick at someone who was kicking at me. When I did that, I would no longer be climbing. While they are kicking, my father told me, I should keep stepping. They can kick only one time. If I continued to climb, they would be left behind. In trying to hurt me, to impede my progress, they would get left behind because they allowed themselves to get sidetracked from their agenda.

I've had my share of problems along the way. Don't get me wrong, because there is no school for this. You go from a poor person to a rich person. My parents didn't have no money; didn't tell me nothing about investments.

There has been nothing more impactful on my life and meaningful to me than the introduction of Christ. That, hands down, blows away every joke I've ever written.

You are never too old to reinvent yourself.

All I'm telling you to do is to be smart about it. Know that if this man isn't looking for a serious relationship, you're not going to change his mind just because you two are going on dates and being intimate. You could be the most perfect woman on the Lord's green earth-you're capable of interesting conversation, you cook a mean breakfast, you hand out backrubs like sandwiches, you're independent (which means, to him, that you're not going to be in his pockets)-but if he's not ready for a serious relationship, he going to treat you like sports fish.

If you think "sagging," and, how many women you've got, and how big a chain you've got, and how much dope you're slangin', and how much money you've got in your pocket makes you a "man," then you're sadly mistaken. You're going to be a misguided soul your entire life.

There's a lot more to me than just funny.