I ain't no author, man . . . my writing skills are not of "New York Times" best-seller quality, trust and believe it ain't. My vocabulary ain't.

We men are very simple people: if we like what we see, we’re coming over there. If we don’t want anything from you, we’re not coming over there. Period. Please highlight this part right here so you can always remind yourself the next time a man steps to you: a man always wants something. Always. And when it comes to women, that plan is always to find out two things: (1) if you’re willing to sleep with him, and (2) if you are, how much it will cost to get you to sleep with him.

I'm a old hoodlum, so I will jump on you if I have to.

When I first got money, I went through it like everybody else, because I didn't know. But, right now, I've educated myself and placed smart people around me. I surrounded myself with people who not only are intelligent and effective about finances, taxes, and money management, but they (also) love me.

If you're a generous person, when you get money and fame, you're going to be more generous. If you're a sharer, you're going to be more sharing. If you're a coward, you're just going to be a bigger coward. That's all money and fame does.

There's a lot more to me than just funny.

Hollywood is run by people who sit up in their executive office, who are not connected to Mississippi, Alabama, Chicago, South Carolina. They know nothing about that, they don't go to church, and they make their decisions about what they think is right.