A first kiss after five months means more than a first kiss after five minutes.

Like there's actually a need for Greenland. You can get ice at 7-Eleven.

A first kiss after five months means more than a first kiss after five minutes.

Just because you discover that you may like somebody after all, it doesn't necessarily mean there's any attraction.

Never, ever stop believing in magic, no matter how old you get. Because if you keep looking long enough and don't give up, sooner or later you're going to find Mary Poppins.

My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off.

Communicating with the federal government is like talking to a computer that's crashing.