A quick comeback is usually meant as license to be mean.

Putting our heads in the sand is not a wise strategy.

To parents who find a child's disclosure about sexual or gender identity challenging, I always urge what I'd call "moderated" honesty. If you can't say "I love you," then say something like, "I'm going to need some time to digest this news." Buy time this way. And then think.

Too many people think that "good manners" are about subjugating yourself to others. Not true. Respect, and just as important, self-respect are two key elements in this equation.

Rely on facts, figures, principles of equality and fairness.

From my vantage point, when I'm criticized in a way that I can hear what's being said - i.e., the issues - I'm more likely to listen and respond. A lot of the personal email I receive consists of name calling; I'll write back and say: Talk to me like I'm a person and you're a person and tell me where you disagree with me. I can't tell you how that turns people upside down. More often than not they write back with an apology and a reasoned argument.

We need to regain the art of civil discourse and more practically, I don't think you change anyone's mind by calling them names.