If I'd been listening closely, I'd have caught the sound of the gods having a great big old tee-hee at my expense.

What could smell better than supper being cooked by someone else?

My job as the writer is to fool you. Your job as the reader is to see if you can catch me at it.

I was an English major in college with minors in Fine Arts and Humanities.

Insecure people have a special sensitivity for anything that finally confirms their own low opinion of themselves.

My notion of an elegant table is you don't leave the knife sticking out of the mayonnaise jar.

Age plays cruel tricks on the human face; all our repressed feelings become visible on the surface, where they harden like a mask.