Why am I hopping around like some trained dog trying to please people I hate?

I'm unaware that my feet are moving to the table until I'm inches from the holograph. My hand reaches in and cups a rapidly blinking green light. Someone joins me, his body tense. Finnick, of course. Because only a victor would see what I see so immediately. The arena. Laced with pods controlled by Gamemakers. Finnick's fingers caress a steady red glow over a doorway. "Ladies and gentlemen..." His voice is quiet, but mine rings through the room. "Let the Seventy-sixth Hunger Games begin!

The berries. I realize the answer to who I am lies in that handful of poisonous fruit. If I held them out to save Peeta because I knew I would be shunned if I came back without him, then I am despicable. If I held them out because I loved him, I am still self-centered, although forgivable. But if I held them out to defy the capitol, I am someone of worth. The trouble is, I don't know exactly what was going on inside me at that moment.

Slowly, with many lost days, I come back to life.

Oh, no. It costs a lot more than your life. To murder innocent people?" says Peeta. "It costs everything you are.

They're a little strange, but I'm pretty sure neither of them is going to try to make me uncomfortable by stripping naked.

Instead, I watch myself get shot on television.