A ring of gold with the sun in it? Lies. Lies and a grief.

They would grow old. They would forget me.

I am learning peacefulness, lying by myself quietly, as the light lies on these white walls, this bed, these hands. I am nobody; I have nothing to do with explosions.

I am what I feel and think and do.

…beating time along the edge of thought.

That’s one of the reasons I never wanted to get married. The last thing I wanted was infinite security and to be the place an arrow shoots off from. I wanted change and excitement and to shoot off in all directions myself, like the colored arrows from a Fourth of July rocket.

I do not love; I do not love anybody except myself. That is a rather shocking thing to admit.