The silence depressed me. It wasn't the silence of silence. It was my own silence.

So I kiss him, and there is the great dark sea ahead.

Slowly, slowly, catch the monkey.

A terrible depression yesterday. Visions of my life petering out into a kind of soft-brained stupor from lack of use.

If only I knew what I wanted I could try to see about getting it.

All I want is blackness. Blackness and silence.

I wanted to be where nobody I knew could ever come.