One thing, I try to be honest. And what is revealed is often rather hideously unflattering.

I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am.

So I began to think maybe it was true that when you were married and had children it was like being brainwashed, and afterward you went about as numb as a slave in a totalitarian state.

I want to kill myself, to escape from responsiblity, to crawl abjectly back into the womb.

What have I eaten? Lies and smiles.

I hurl my heart to halt his pace.

I felt overstuffed and dull and disappointed, the way I always do the day after Christmas.