I wanted to do everything once and for all and be through with it.
Not easy to state the change you made. If I'm alive now, I was dead, Though, like a stone, unbothered by it.
Like a cat I have nine times to die.
Slowly, slowly, catch the monkey.
My life is a discipline, a prison: I live for my own work, without which I am nothing.
Sometimes I nursed starfish alive in jam jars of seawater and watched them grow back lost arms. On this day, this awful birthday of otherness, my rival, somebody else, I flung the starfish against a stone. Let it perish.