I must not be selfless: develop a sense of self. A solidness that can't be attacked.

I am dead to them, even though I once flowered.

Yes, there is joy, fulfillment and companionship but the loneliness of the soul in its appalling self-consciousness is horrible and overpowering.

I think I may well be a Jew.

You ask me why I spend my life writing? Do I find entertainment? Is it worthwhile? Above all, does it pay? If not, then, is there a reason?... I write only because there is a voice within me. That will not be still.

I think writers are the most narcissistic people. Well, I musn't say this, I like many of them, a great many of my friends are writers.

All I want is blackness. Blackness and silence.