I had imagined a kind, ugly, intuitive man looking up and say, 'Ah!' in an encouraging way, as if he could see something I couldn't, and then I would find words to tell him how I was so scared, as if I were being stuffed farther and farther into a black, airless sack with no way out.

I tried to speak in a cool, calm way, but the zombie rose up in my throat and choked me off.

Hour by hour, day by day, life becomes possible.

For the few little successes I may seem to have, there are acres of misgivings and self-doubt.

I hate handing over money to people for doing what I could just as easily do myself, it makes me nervous.

I don't see what women see in other women," I'd told Doctor Nolan in my interview that noon. "What does a woman see in a woman that she can't see in a man?" Doctor Nolan paused. Then she said, "Tenderness.

I do not love; I do not love anybody except myself. That is a rather shocking thing to admit.