To the person in the bell jar, blank and stopped as a dead baby, the world itself is a bad dream.

Can you understand? Someone, somewhere, can you understand me a little, love me a little? For all my despair, for all my ideals, for all that - I love life. But it is hard, and I have so much - so very much to learn.

How we need another soul to cling to, another body to keep us warm. To rest and trust; to give your soul in confidence: I need this, I need someone to pour myself into.

I dream too much, work too little.

Very depressed today. Unable to write a thing. Menacing gods. I feel outcast on a cold star, unable to feel anything but an awful helpless numbness.

I do not fear it: I have been there.

Then I thought, "No, I broke it myself. I broke it on purpose to pay myself back for being such a heel.