I'm just looking for a little mystery in life... like things you can't explain. Like, you go to Mexico, they tell you don't drink the water. You go to any diner here, who brings you the water? It's a mystery.

Inherent in mourning is celebration. Mourning without celebration or some form of acceptance leaves you stuck.

It always comes down to what the crowd buys coming out of your mouth, which differs from one comic to the next.

You'll get them tomorrow. You gave it a good shot. Keep your chin up.

I often think about my future wife and how lax she's been about getting in touch with me.

A person riding a unicycle on a tightrope doesn't worry about being likeable; they're doing something amazing that very few people can do.

I think the more you hone your voice, take risks and talk about things that matter, the better chance you have of getting into the realm of the philosophers of stand up. But you have to be funny.