I would like to fire every cop in America and start from scratch. We don't need as many of them, and the whole model of policing is completely off the rails. For the most part, the police are engaged in very little protection of the public. That's probably 5 percent of what they do. The rest of it is writing tickets.

Imagine foreign troops sitting idly, laughing as hooligans trashed the Smithsonian, stole the gold from Fort Knox and burned down the Department of the Interior. That was us in Iraq.

Americans are not terribly intelligent people. They need to read important things several times.

If I had to rank my skills, I have a long way to go before I can write a good graphic novel.

For an ordinary citizen, what is the common interaction you have with a police officer? When they pull you over for speeding, or when they write you a ticket for parking. The rest of the time is patrolling minority neighborhoods like an occupying army. It's suppression of blacks, and it's revenue enhancement. Surveillance is a Band-Aid. That's like saying, "Let's surveil the SS." No! Let's get rid of the SS!

Here in the US, we've built this insane infrastructure of oppression. When it's not run by a Barack Obama - who, by the way, I don't think is a perfect president - but by someone who is off-kilter, like a Carly Fiorina, that could be dangerous.

Conservative humor is frankly harder than liberal humor. You get points for just being liberal. You can get more points if you make fun of your own side sometimes.