I talk out the lines as I write them.

I believe the way to write a good play is to convince yourself it is easy to do, then go ahead and do it with ease.

When I was fourteen, my father decided to initiate me into the ways of manhood, and took me to the local whorehouse. The woman spread her legs, and made me look between them. All I could see was something that looked like a dyin' orchid; consequently, I have never been comfortable around women or orchids.

Once you fully apprehend the vacuity of a life without struggle, you are equipped with the basic means of salvation.

Man is by instinct a lover, a hunter, a fighter, and none of those instincts are given much play at the warehouse!

It's hard enough for me to write what I want to write without me trying to write what you say they want me to write which I don't want to write.

Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families