Our relative being is what rules our relative world.
A dog, however nice he is, and sweet-tempered, doesn't have much of a range of options. A human being does.
First you have to help yourself.
Even if one isn't a committed Buddhist, it just helps us become better human beings.
We're not making up merit scores for ourselves. We're making up merit scores so that we can be reborn in a situation where we can really live to benefit ourselves and others.
In a monastic setting, if someone doesn't want to obey the rules and just wants to live the way they've always lived as a lay person, then why did they become ordained? They have no sense that they have to give something up to gain so much.