When they're standing right in front of you, kings are a kind of speech impediment.

Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. It’s a feeling inside that can hardly be contained.

See a pin and pick it up, and, all day long, you'll have a pin.

I don't hold with paddlin' with the occult," said Granny firmly. "Once you start paddlin' with the occult you start believing in spirits, and when you start believing in spirits you start believing in demons, and then before you know where you are you're believing in gods. And then you're in trouble." "But all them things exist," said Nanny Ogg. "That's no call to go around believing in them. It only encourages 'em.

Technically, the city of Ankh-Morpork is a Tyranny, which is not always the same thing as a monarchy, and in fact even the post of Tyrant has been somewhat redefined by the incumbent, Lord Vetinari, as the only form of democracy that works. Everyone is entitled to vote, unless disqualified by reason of age or not being Lord Vetinari.

In my experience, what every true artist wants, really wants, is to be paid.

Be careful what you wish for. You never know who will be listening.