It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewere, would much rather you weren't doing.

The dwarfs can turn lead into gold... It reached the pointy ears of the dwarfs. -Can we? -Damned if I know. I can't. -Yeah, but if you could, you wouldn't say. I wouldn't say, if I could. -Can you? -No! -Ah-ha!

Albert grunted. "Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?" Mort thought for a moment. "No," he said eventually, "what?" There was silence. Then Albert straightened up and said, "Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve 'em right.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

These people were not only cheering, they were throwing flowers and hats. The hats were made of stone, but the thought was there.

As we all know, the Discworld is a flat planet - like a geological pizza, but without the anchovies.

Fantasy doesn't have to be fantastic. American writers in particular find this much harder to grasp. You need to have your feet on the ground as much as your head in the clouds. The cute dragon that sits on your shoulder also craps all down your back, but this makes it more interesting because it gives it an added dimension.