Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.

You get a wonderful view from the point of no return.

A world like that, which exists only because the gods enjoy a joke, must be a place where magic can survive. And sex too, of course.

You know what I'd really, really like? What I'd pay MONEY for? A ZX81 with a disc drive. I understood the ZX81. It was so easy to interface stuff to it.

Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT." Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.

Every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life.

The truth is a fog, in which one man sees the heavenly host and the other one sees a flying elephant.